Cheese Chronicles
by Sonda
Summary: I'm not dead! This is a story about love and loss, cheese and eggs and most of all: Randomness
1. Chapter 1

**The Cheese Chronicle**

A long time ago but somehow in the future...

A boy named Cloud was born; this has made a lot of people VERY angry. People think that life would go much smoother if that son of a bch was never born... I agree.

But this is his story (unfortunately)

DISCLAIMER: I wish i DID own FF7 but i dont, end of. 

ON TO THE STORY:

DAY 1

Cloud woke up, screaming for mercy. He looked under his sheets and frowned, the same dream AGAIN.

He walked down the stairs with his sheets into the kitchen and Aeris was washing the dishes.

"Hi Cloud, are those your sheets?"

Cloud nodded.

"Was it the dream about the cheese again?"

Cloud nodded again, looking VERY pathetic.

"Aeris... where is teh cheese??"

"We don't have any left and stop saying "teh" it's "the""

But Cloud was already screaming in terror.

"THE DREAM CAME TRUE" he screamed running through the new brick wall in the neighbours pet Sephiroth.

"Damn." Said Aeris "We just fixed that wall from the last time!"

NIGHT 1

Vincent was hungry. He wanted some ice cold bacon with melted cheese and an egg on top.

"Must have ice bacon melted cheese egg duo... Or was it triple?" Vincent said half asleep walking down the stairs.

As you can already tell, Vincent is an idiot.

Vincent got caught on a nail and fell down 2 flights of stairs and landed face first in the fridge door.

"The horror, THE HORROR" Vincent screamed as he found out there was no fridge... What the hell did he hit?

"Oh sorry Tifa," Vincent apologised. "But you can't blame me, you HAVE been packing on the pounds lately"

Tifa looked at Vincent with pure naked hatred in her eyes. That stare could have felled a wilderbeast but Vincent, the idiot he is is to stupid to know hatred from love...

END OF CHAPTER 1 R&R please


	2. Chapter 1 just with a 2

**CHAPTER THE 2NESSNESSNESS**

DAY 2

The repairman was at the house talking with Aeris

"It's gonna cost about 60 quadrillion gil to get that fixed... and even if you COULD afford it, it would take 2 years to fix..." he said in a Texan accent

"Why?!" Aeris asked, anger in her voice.

"Because I'm a electrical repair man, I fix: TV's, Submarines, Evil genious' broken robots... and the occasional doomsday device... you know... NORMAL stuff..."

"But why 60 QUADRILLION?!"

"I'm one step behind a contractor..."

"Hey Aeris can I have so- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ANOTEHR MAN?!" Cloud screamed, pure utter RAGE in his voice.

"This is the repair man... trying to fix that big gaping hole in the wall..." Aeris said... clearly annoyed.

"Whatever I'm glad he's not- HE IS... HES THE DUDE FROM MY CHEESE NIGHTMARE" Cloud started screaming, ran into another wall made ANOTHER gaping hole and ran into the neighbours pet Sephiroth again.

"GOD DAMMIT" Aeries screeched.

NIGHT 2

The pet Sephiroth, CLEARLY insane, crept to the house.

"I'll get that spiky headed moron... that's the LAST time he ruins my hair."

He inadvertently went to the wrong room and stabbed Aeris in the head

"Oops... Sorry," He whispered but he was rejoicing in his mind

"I'm good with one killing... might as well call it a day... or night...? I'm confuzzled" He said creeping back to his Sephiroth house.

Gief R&R pl0x


	3. Chapter the 3rd

**Chapter the 3rd**

I STILL don't own ff7... one day... one day

DAY 3

Cloud was walking into Aeris' room

"Hey Aeris... can I have some ch- OH MY ZOMBIE BEJEEBUS YOUR DEAD... well time to bring the phoenix downs" Cloud said

There was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it" Vincent called, mouth full from his meatloaf-chocolate-teddy bear sundae.

He opened the door and found no one other than... Reno?!

"H-"was all he said before Vincent slammed the door in his face.

"Vincent that's not very nice" Aeris chided while having a 7 foot katana in her forehead.

She opened the door to Reno and said

"Why hello Reno... what a delightful time for a vi-" she half said. She stopped because Reno fainted.

When he finally came too, he said

"Wow... i had the weirdest dream... it involved Aeris having a 7-foot katana in her forehead". He really believed it was a dream as well until he saw Aeris with a bandage on both sides of her forehead.

He fainted again...

NIGHT 3

"NOW ill get him for sure" was what the pet Sephiroth said.

He crept into the house and walked into the nearest room he could find – Nanaki's room...

He stabbed Nanaki in the forehead as well.

"I REALLY should get these contact lenses fixed" the pet Sephiroth muttered as he stalked out the house.

R&R please


End file.
